i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
