my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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