so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
