Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
it's like heaven, but drunker
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
