watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
