Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
