You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
