Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
...so i touched it.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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