So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
