when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
