Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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