I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
