You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
