This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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