DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize