Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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