I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
