Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize