Don't make out with my wife yet
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
