which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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