Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
