it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think my nap took me to another dimension
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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