there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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