So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize