I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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