u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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