Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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