we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
