We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
