i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Semen is not good for contacts.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
