can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
