Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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