Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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