I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I want a musical about memes.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
