I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize