he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I supernannyed him into submission
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
