Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
