You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
