it was like his penis was on wheels.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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