remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
