I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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