Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
