we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
