I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
