My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
