at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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