He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
