We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
