i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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