there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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