I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
