Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
