i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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