Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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