Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
