Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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