It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
