tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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